Having a baby is one of the biggest decisions you will ever make. This has a lot to do with having a little part of you coming out to the world and turning into your biggest love but also your biggest responsibility. But what happens when this new life ends unexpectedly?
Having a miscarriage is always painful, confusing, fisicaly and emotionally exhausting now matter if your pregnancy was planned or not most women start feeling that special bond with the unborn baby almost automatically and when surprisingly they loose that baby all those illusions end and that makes them feel awful.
Remember that when a woman has a miscarriage, she goes through a medical procedure where the uterus is emptied and this procedure is called curettage. This has to be done to allow her to properly heal but most of the time it can be uncomfortable, and besides the emotional pain, she may also have physical discomfort.
Those women who have gone through it know how does it feel, but you need to keep in mind that now is the moment for you to allow yourself healing your body and your mind. You need both to be completely recovered to be able to try in the future and successfully become a mother.
Start allowing yourself to heal physically and if it is the case talk to your partner. Doctors recommend you have to rest and allow your uterus to recover for at least a year. Besides following the doctor's indications because he is the professional, you need to do it because you want to provide the best conditions for your future baby. You need the uterus to be healthy to make your future pregnancy as best as possible. Usually doesn't matter how healthy you are, attempting a new pregnancy right away may cause you a new spontaneous miscarriage because that little nest where the baby is supposed to develop during nine months is not strong enough yet or in other words it needs to heal.
Make your best to wait because you need to be able to get emotionally better, this will help you avoid the fear of a possible new unfortunate event. Talk to your partner and if he doesn't understand it, talk to a friend, and if she does not understand what you are going through look for a support group or maybe even for professional help. There you can find the best suggestions possible and may even help you find useful advises. What matters is to increase the general well-being state and if you get better generally, you will also be better prepared when the time comes.
Avoid the blame game and work on keeping your relationship strong. Pain may make us do terrible things, but avoid as much as possible arguing with your partner or playing the blame game. In this moment what you need is to get closer and help each other. Even no one may never feel the way you feel, remember, your partner had the same illusion of becoming parents, so the best you can do is to support each other and work on remaining emotionally strong and together. Creating discussions and putting distance between you will be more damaging than beneficial. We all deal with sadness in a different way. If you feel you can not deal with it alone go to someone you trust a friend, family, religious advisor or professional to help you in this case.
Keep yourself under the doctor's control and recommendations. I can not make more emphasis on this, because he needs to control you don't develop and infection, tell you the time you need to avoid sexual relationships while you get better, also give you the birth control method while your body recovers and when the moment is appropriate and if you want to try again he will indicate you the best vitamins and supplements to help you be in the best conditions for a new pregnancy.
Remember becoming a mother is as well as a bless, as the biggest responsibility you will ever have. As a women you need to be sure if you can do it alone, because no matter how good your partner is, there are many situations in life that may leave you alone to raise your children. So it is much better if you feel that, if it is needed you can do it without the company of a partner.
In the process of emotional healing you need to process, understand and keep in your mind an spontaneous miscarriage is not your fault these may happen for many reasons, so please try to find those reasons that help you go on and keep learning, every experience is a lesson so try to take the best out of it and when everything is ready you may try again.