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Next Step Spice

Taking the next step to SPICE up the bed room - how to approach your partner for your inner KINK Fantasies.

Live, know and enjoy yourself, these are some of the ideas that should come into your mind when it comes to your daily life and your sex life. There are all kind of experiences to be lived and sometimes you may feel scared or afraid to go for it.

Fear is there to protect people from dangerous situations, but sometimes these same fears stop us from daring to try new things. As long as you keep respect and safety in mind you shouldn’t be afraid of living new moments and trying new things alone or with your partner.

Today the element to consider is kink fantasies, but what is to be kink or what is kinkiness? Something kink is something unconventional, different, this can go from a experience as simple as attempting something you feel is forbidden for you, to practice more intense and unknown sexual events.

Kinkiness is sometimes associated with the BDSM world, this acronym stands for bondage, discipline, dominance and submission, sadomasochism, but kink practices are not limited to this, voyeurism and fetishes may be considered kink too.

Before approaching your partner to ask for some spicy requests, you need to be clear about what you want and why do you want it. Most men and women have a “dark” side were they have hidden desires that are hardly shared with others. When this happens it is important to verify the deeper reasons of those needs and fantasies. For example there are many men and women that have fantasies about raping and this usually shouldn’t have nothing wrong, it is a fantasy and it is related to the desire of control, but when the reasons are different you should be careful, self-respect and being respected by your partner is crucial.

Beside this basic element when you want to try something new with your partner, you need to trust him/her. You need to be able to fully trust your partner emotionally, physically. How can you share your deepest thoughts if there is no trust? Start over there, be honest, there are some kink fantasies that are so unique, that if there is no trust and respect it won’t be possible for you to make them freely and truly true.

There are many related to kinkiness that may need to have certain safety, when it comes to physical interaction you both have to know and agree that when it is “stop” is stop and a “no” is no. In this case remember there are safe words to be used different than no and stop, this special words are highly recommended to be discussed before getting to that specific moment, and they usually have to be different to avoid confusions in the games and end up hurt.

Devises and accessories are quite useful when it comes to your kink side, depending on your desires you have to use some or others, if you choose submission you may need restrains, if you choose masochism some floggers and canes may be an option. In case you are not ready to go for it, your hands and a couple of good spanks will do the job. Clothing, shoes, oils, candles and much more can be included too.

Even the decision is always up to you, it may be a good idea to start slow, want some restraining, start first by holding her/his hands with yours and in another session you can continue with a scarf or handcuffs. This gradual process will let you know how you really feel about something, remember not all the things you can imagine will be fully translated into reality or they may not work as expected, baby steps are a good idea for some fantasies.

How can you share this with your partner? This is always a tricky thing to do, but as in many things, it depends on how good is your communication as a couple and how receptive is your partner with sex topics, why? Believe it or not in this wide world there are still people that takes sex very seriously and depending on their believes and their thoughts they have not learn sex is for more than making babies; they are still extremely afraid of enjoying their sexuality or they don’t feel comfortable enough. The point is, no matter what are his/her reasons, you need to know how approach the idea.

Some strategies may be: In a casual conversation, attention being alone!, you may say in a soft voice into his/her ear, “I would like you to… “. Another option is to propose a game, in this game you can write actions; some for you with a color and some for him in a different color, each takes one and practices it, if you cannot try them all right away there you will have some good material to include along many encounters. Going on if you are quite open and for example you watch porn together, and if you watch a movie that includes your fantasy may be a way of doing it, asking him/her to try what you saw. In every case, please try to avoid including it without talking it with your partner first, why? As there are some very particular desires, it is better to talk it to avoid a negative surprise.

Another good suggestion is to research a little online, there are always recommendations and tricks to learn how to perform that kink fantasy, if you have some basic tricks, it will help you know that to expect and how to make it better. This research may help you learn, help you find new ideas, add some fuel to the fire or may help you think twice before going for it.

No matter what you want it is very important to be honest with yourself, and about what you want, we should not deny ourselves the pleasure of what you want just for feeling afraid or embarrassed.

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