By Electra Lashes
Instagram: electralashes
This is a situation that can be so confronting if your not expecting it, and the that the impact on your relationship can effect how you look at each other again, when Your partner has just admitted to you that they have a fetish. When You’re not sure what to think or react as it’s not something you’ve ever considered before, but this is your partner, lover and best friend, the one you love dearly is asking you to accept them and their desires, even if those desires don’t resonate with your own feelings of what’s acceptable in the bedroom. So step 1, You’ve accepted the fact that your partner has a fetish you don’t like, and now you’re wondering how to deal with it and move forward in your relationship. Here is how to do that while still showing your love and acceptance of. Keep in mind A fetish is an intense sexual attraction to objects, situations, or body parts that most people don’t find arousing in the least—think foot fetishes, latex fetishes, and even leather fetishes. Fetishes are fairly common in the population at large (about 7 percent of men and 1 percent of women), but some people have fetishes that are outside the mainstream enough that their partner might be uncomfortable with them and suggest they work on it before they can have a healthy relationship. I always like to encourage research so you have a more factual understanding of what the fetish is before you judge, as we say you should never judge a book by the cover right the next step is to communicate, I always say communication can solve the worlds biggest problems.
So I said communication right, so your asking me How do I tell my partner I have a fetish they don't like? The first step in having an honest conversation about his or her fetish is to become aware of how you feel about it. Be clear with yourself about your desire for change and what it would take to change. Don’t get angry, upset or frustrated if you need to write it down first then read it out to your partner. Once you are clear on what you want, speak with your partner openly and honestly about what he or she likes and ask questions to see if there is room for compromise. Everything is up for negotiation in this world and if you budge a little things will work out for the win. Keep in mind that, just because one person likes something doesn’t mean that someone else has to like it too. If both partners can accept their differences, they can communicate openly without judgment you will find a happy place of acceptance.
Understanding what fetishes are with research will be the answer to the major mind blowing problem that is crossing your mind of unsureness. A fetish is an intense sexual interest in something that’s not typically seen as sexual as not all fetishes involve sexual penetration. Fetishism is so obviously and incredibly broad to what it covers, and there are all kinds of fetishes out there — including some you might not even know about. Some common fetishes include bondage, latex, shoes, boots, voyeurism (which can overlap with exhibitionism), rubber and diapers to name just a few. In general, if your partner gets aroused by something that has nothing to do with sex (like wearing certain types of clothing) then he or she may have what's called an erotic fixation or fetish. So you don’t really know what to expect without looking into this in further detail and communication to have the exact details of what is their “thing”.
Understanding why people develop fetishes can be helpful to many in this situation that not only will give you answers but become a way for you to be more accepting. There are two main ways of understanding why people develop fetishes. The first is a medical model that proposes fetishes arise as a result of early experiences with sex, usually abuse or trauma. This is something you may want to discuss with your partner if you're having problems accepting his fetish or seek a professional help as trauma gets messy quick if your not understanding you can make things harder to accept. However, psychologists aren’t 100% sure about whether there is evidence supporting either of these claims. Another suggests that fetishes form due to cultural influences such as popularity and exposure; for example, pornography or sexual content in media could trigger arousal that develops into more complex sexual fantasies and desires (i.e., fetish). It’s also worth noting that some people are just naturally more open-minded than others. There is always more reasons however the main two that is a common connection with explanation from research.
Common concerns when accepting your partners fetish is When you first and early stages of realization that your partner has developed a fetish that's different from yours, it's normal to feel some distress and worry. In most cases, though, these feelings are temporary and will pass over time. In general, remember that there's nothing inherently wrong with fetishes. Just because your partner has developed certain interests doesn't mean they love you any less; all it means is that they're able to get sexually aroused by something you may not share. For example, if your partner's into wearing latex clothing during sex or being submissive to their lover, it does not mean they're incapable of intimacy—it just means they have certain preferences or needs sexually that aren't shared by everyone else on earth.
Now we have discussed a lot How can you cope with all these feelings on this matter? It can be overwhelming, I understand this but breath. There are different stages of fetish. It may just be a fantasy they have, in the mind and no intention to act or it could be something they're actively engaged in with others. Some fetishes are socially accepted while others can raise serious questions about your relationship if you feel like it's not okay for you to share yourself with your partner. How you handle it depends on how deeply ingrained and potentially problematic your partner's fetish is, as well as how important having an open and honest relationship is to you. The only time you should be concerned if its an act that maybe illegal (if your not sure if its illegal try google first) and my advise is seek professional help as soon as possible and do not delay your General medical provider would be the best place to start if your unsure for referrals to psychiatric consultations.