What does it mean to be a submissive? What happens when you find out you enjoy being a submissive?
Being a submissive means you are giving out the entire control over yourself to someone else. This can happen in many aspects of your life not just in sex. Is this good or bad for you? If you focus on general aspects of your life giving control to someone else or to other people over your life is not usually the most recommended, why? Because it is YOUR life! and you are going to be the one who faces any “consequences” caused by the choices, decisions or advices given by them. If you were raised in an extremely strict environment where you were supposed to follow rules with no questions to be asked, you may have developed a submissive mind. Again is this wrong? Think that as long as you are aware of that and you can identify everything in your life works as best as possible and you feel happy about every aspect of it, you could say there is nothing wrong, but remember if this is not the situation, and you feel you are being abused in a way or another consider seriously on making some changes.
Now, there are some other specific aspects of your life, like sex for example, where you can enjoy being a submissive as this is the opposite of your main personality characteristics. For example there are people who are dominant in their work, but feel a huge release being the submissive during sex, as in this moment they don’t have to control everything, in their mind this is pleasant and make them free.
How does this work? When referring specially to sex, to take the submissive role, there have to be also a dominant. In simple words there have to be a leader and someone who follows. These dominant and submissive roles are associated to the BDSM world and these practices can go from some kind of slight and some that are quite hardcore.
The focus of a submissive mind is to follow the dominant’s command. This dynamic may happen spontaneously between the partners in a couple, or may be taken to professional levels.
What? Are there professionals on this field? The answer is: yes. There are professional dominant, professional submissive, professional sessions, dungeons and equipments. There are services, or escort services provided by people who has learn how to take both roles dominants or submissive. Before engaging yourself in this type of adventure make sure this kind of services are legal in your country; hiring a professional dominatrix/mistress or submissive does not mean or does not necessarily involve/include intercourse, their service may be exclusively related to other practices for example, spanking, bondage, fetishism, and role-play. In the same course, the dungeons are special places where the sessions or special encounters take place.
The submissive takes all his/her dominant decides for him or her. In a controlled environment all practices should be done safely as the dominant and the submissive usually discuss first what do they want to do, what are they going to experience during the session or the time they are going to share together. They also decide in advantage a key word, this word must stop the game as soon as it is said by the correspondent partner.
There are pretty varied practices, for example there are submissive that enjoy water sports, dog training, slavery, trampling or physical punishment for example. There are submissive that have a fetish for body parts, like feet, breast or buttocks as mostly any body part may be turned into a fetish. No matter what does the male or female submissive enjoys, the center of the dominant/submissive practices is control; there are some sessions in where the submissive must follow rules and if he/she doesn’t follow them, they are disciplined; the discipline may be physical or verbal and it is part of what causes pleasure in their minds and body.
Can you take it to your bedroom? You may be thinking, is this just for professionals? If I feel I am a submissive, I have to hire a professional? You already know the answer is no. You may even have already lived some great experiences with a special partner. So what is the key here, talk and know you both agree to make this “experiment” in bed. What are your true inner or natural roles? We usually have a little of both dominant and submissive, but there is one that prevails over the other. Having this in mind, what would you like to live first? What specific fantasy do you want to share? Make the arrangements for it. Bondage or restraining the partner’s movements are some of the easiest to try, some spanking may be on the menu too. The deal is to have fun and try new things safely. Remember, the nicest way to live it is when you both agree it, make a short plan first deciding which will be the word to stop action (safe word)
Do you know what is the greatest of all? Feeling free to try, to live new experiences, to know yourself so well you already recognize what you like, what pleases you. It can be something as simple as wanting to be your partner’s object of pleasure, leaving him/her “use” you as his/her pleasure source, making all he/she wants in bed; for example there is a submissive practice in where the obedient is “forced” to practice oral sex to his/her partner. Use your imagination mostly all the practices that involve obedience may be classified as a submissive practice.
Make it happen, you will never know how far you would like to get if you don’t try it, this can help you find your boundaries, discover how close is pain from pleasure, or how good does it feel to leave your partner explore you at his/her wish, he/she may even find sweet spots you didn’t even knew you had. Do you have an inner submissive, let it speak!