How Random Acts of Kindness Within A Relationship Can Create Better Sexual Intimacy
Random acts of kindness otherwise known as raok are acts that people perform in order to do something kind for someone without being prompted, asked or hinted at. These can be meaningful and make anyone feel special and when performed within a relationship they can make the relationship better, feel more worthwhile and create better sexual intimacy.
When random acts of kindness are performed you are in essence looking outside of yourself and your desires and considering the wants, needs and desires of someone else, you are showing compassion and empathy for another. Life isn’t easy, the day to day is full of struggles, anxieties and stressors and it is easy to get caught up in the drama of this, become self-centred, unfocused and neglect the people in our lives such as partners and so forth, that we take for granted. Thus by searching for and carrying out random acts of kindness or that person no matter how small it is showing that they matter, that you are focusing on them and not the outside negatives.
By allowing yourself to show empathy and compassion towards them even for a short while, it will make your partners day and yours a bit brighter, they will start to feel happy and more appreciated and therefore sexual intimacy will also start to feel more productive and positive.
It is a common misconception that random acts of kindness have to be a massive grand gesture in order to make things better and to improve sexual intimacy, however, this is only a myth. It does not have to be a big gesture, in fact, some of the smallest gestures can be the most effective. For instance, not saying anything nasty or negative to each other for twelve hours can have a massive impact on the sexual intimacy of a relationship that is used to having little intimacy and lots of negativity towards each other. It is the small things that you start to do for someone that will make the big differences with the intimacy in the relationship, including, although not limited to sexual intimacy and sexual activity.
This are things such as holding the door open for your partner as they walk through it, asking how their day was and genuinely listening to them, asking them a decision such as what would you like for dinner or what would you like to watch, or giving them a genuine heartfelt answer if they have asked you a question as this can make them feel like their opinion or desire matters or like you genuinely want to listen to them. This will in turn help with intimacy issues. These are all things that would probably happen naturally at the start of the relationship when each of you would have felt appreciated, desired and excited by each other sometimes it is bringing back the small things from a relationship that will help bring back bigger things such as intimacy.
Before going to bed at night think of small random acts of kindness that you will perform the next day to show your partner, that you love them and they mean something to you, these can be anything from giving them a kiss and a cuddle before you or they leave in the morning and again before bed at night this will help build intimacy by showing your partner you do not have an ulterior motive that you are not just showing affection in order to get sex, this will build intimacy both sexually and of your relationship, even as small a time as a week could make a difference to your intimacy level. It might be a text telling them that you love them or are thinking of them during the day, it may be a bunch of flowers or a single flower brought home for them at the end of the day.
Be tender towards each other on a regular, if not daily basis one of the most intimate things that can happen between two people in a relationship is the act of touch, not even a sexual touch but just a simple touch. When was the last time that you and your partner sat together cuddle on the sofa to watch television or spend time together, during this time something as simple as stroking your partner's hand, face or hair could work wonders in forming bonds and securing intimacy levels both in your relationship and sexually.
Hugging your partner is also a great way in which to secure intimacy both sexually and otherwise, it doesn’t have to be a sexual type of hug that will lead to anything. It is literally a hug that can be performed wherever you are situated whether at home, in the garden, in the street, a supermarket, with friends or family and so forth. It may feel awkward at first but stick with it and you will feel the change in the intimacy dynamics. The idea is to hold each other until the pressure and the stress start to drain from your body and you can feel it physically draining. This should be repeated as often as you can and soon you will find yourselves hugging it out for no particular reason and actually enjoying it.
No relationship is perfect it takes hard work and determination especially in terms of intimacy and sexual intimacy. However by following this small amount of advice you will find that you as a person and your relationship will feel rejuvenated. It may even be you that has the problem with showing intimacy and so shy away from it physically and sexually however by taking the plunge and diving it will make your relationship a hundred times better, the intimacy will start to feel good rather than scary and will improve tenfold and you will find yourself in a relationship that you appreciate and desire rather than dread and cower away from.