To be honest, to discover all the reasons why men and women cheat, you have to read the entire article but the main reason is, because despite all we have been taught is morally or socially right, men and women cheat because it is possible and in a way or another both genders find all kinds of justifications to allow themselves to cheat, to indicate their brains and their hearts they can cheat and they finally do it. Do you want to know some of the reasons why cheating happens according to this theory, keep reading.
First, what would you consider cheating? Depending on each couple cheating can go from having sexual thoughts or even looks for someone different than his/her partner. For some other a kiss or chatting with someone online is cheating too, till we finally get to having sex with someone different than his/her regular partner. But, how should you deal with it? How bad is for each person depends on too many factors, how long and committed has been the relation, what were the couple`s agreements, is this cheating physical or emotional.
Remember every relation is quite different and what can be a deal breaker for some relationships may be something to be worked and overcome by others. Keep in mind this, it will always be up to you, what you can handle or feel comfortable with. Self esteem and self respect
will be the key factors to set boundaries.
Another thing to consider is, even most people think men cheat more often than women, this believe is quite far from reality, in this case both men and women equally tend to cheat and the reasons are not completely different for each other.
First let’s start with the obvious, as human beings we all have emotional and physical needs. In a relation these two aspects must be balanced and looked after for both members of the couple. According to this theory these two elements are the ones that influence the most the stability and happiness of a couple.
Usually the evident reason for most is the physical part, lets start from the emotional aspect. Even most, (to avoid saying all), couples start with physical attraction, what helps them go beyond the first stages is the emotional connection. When you leave communication, attention, and the simplest details aside, no matter if are short or long relations, these carelessness for the other opens the door for cheating. If a couple is not careful with details, stops worrying about the little things, they become vulnerable to start looking somewhere else, what is missing at home. If you want examples, is that little extra effort to look pretty and handsome for your boy and your girl; is forgetting to take a shower on weekends because you are too busy watching TV; is forgetting to write and call just to say: “Hi! I miss you”; is not remembering to share time together on a date or helping and listening to each other at home. When you start feeling you are alone in your relationship¡, is the moment when you start looking for something else.
I started with the emotional part because, I think that no matter the temptations out there for men and women, when there is love and the couple is strong enough, when they feel they have someone that cares about them and backwards, it is easier to avoid that desire for someone else.
We need to be realistic, in today’s world where all seems to be sex, or sex related, we are constantly bombed with music, publicity and all kind of media that uses sex to promote themselves, this makes our sexual nature to be increased constantly stimulated, and here is when I go to part two the physical aspects. If a couple is disconnected emotionally, they hardly will be willing to share in the intimacy, I am not saying it can`t happen but most couples need to be happy with each other to have sex. I am not saying it is right, but both men and women will search outside what they cannot find with their partner. What most people could do to avoid the troubles that cheating brings? is to end their relation before seeing someone else, but this doesn’t happen often, most people despite being unhappy are commonly afraid of losing what they have for a new uncertain relation.
A low self esteem, the desire to try something new or different, a crush, or even revenge may be some other reasons that induce people to cheat. Again cheating may feel exiting, and at the beginning people may feel they have found what they have been waiting for their entire lives, but in most cases these feelings don’t last long. Time is the only one that shows if this new person is the right or not, and when it is not, usually it is too late because the previous relation has been lost.
No matter how crazy and attracted you may feel for someone new, if you are in a committed and long relationship please keep in mind what a friend told me a few years ago “you can always make someone happy for three months” these means our entire system will make us believe cheating is the right option, the excitement it causes will make you believe everything is perfect, the secret may make you believe it is the best experience of your life, but in summary this does not last long.
If you are in a relationship or if you want to built a stable relationship there are some key points I think you should keep in mind: try to find what you have in common, long term the smallest things are the one will hold both of you in the bad moments; second: create and keep and good relationship requires to work on it all the time, to give that extra effort to make your partner happy, but this has to be done for both and be able to learn to communicate.
Again you can find many reasons for cheating, but basically the lack of emotional and physical connection are the main elements can lead you to cheat and if you care about your partner think twice, before you move forward into an affair.