I think all adults know this abbreviation! Someone heard something about sex games with all sorts of things like whips and handcuffs, and someone might have tried it. However, mostly the idea of BDSM is often very wrong and incomplete! Is BDSM different from violence, is it traumatic, how is it to enjoy pain, and finally is it worth trying? Let's discuss!
What is the meaning of BDSM?
BD: Bondage, Discipline - restriction of freedom. The concept of bondage includes the idea of submission and physical restriction of movements.
DS: Domination, Submission - the ideological basis of the BDSM.
SM: Sadism, Masochism – these concepts mean actions aimed at obtaining pleasure from physical pain (masochism) or from causing it to a partner (sadism).
So, BDSM is considered to be a psychosexual subculture based on role-playing games of dominant/submissive relationships. The most important thing is that BDSM differs from violence in view of the obligatory presence of rules and the conscious consent of participants to certain actions. Before the start of the game, the partners negotiate all the rules and wishes of each other!
The basic rule is the presence of 'stop words'. After uttering the 'stop word' by one of the partners, the other must stop any action! Alternatively, you can decide on a few 'stop words': one means a complete cessation of the game, the other is for the weakening of a particular action. It is worthy of note that a person can unintentionally shout and demand to stop everything, therefore, do not choose the natural cries 'AAAA !!! NO!!', 'Enough!', 'Aaah, it hurts!', etc. Pick the words that allow recognizing a conscious desire to stop the game. It should be a short but unusual phrase for this person.
Varieties of BDSM games
Like most subcultures, BDSM has different styles that vary depending on the type of physical impact and the scenario of the game.
Traditional role options:
Medical play - the nurse is a bright erotic image. In addition, the game "at the hospital for adults" can be complemented by the use of real medical attributes - for example, enemas, tweezers, etc.
Pet-play – in this case, the subordinate partner plays the role of an animal (most often - dogs, horses). The main accessory of this game is a dog collar with a leash.
Age Play - playing this game partners could imagine they are younger or older. At the same time, it is not obligatory for the one who plays the role of the elder to dominate.
Baby Play - the classic version is "an adult punishing a child", however, variations are possible when both partners play children.
Within the same scenario, the participants can use different types of impacts. At the same time, BDSM actions aim at causing pain and arising of human fears - the fear of darkness, blindness, immobility, sharp objects, blood, fire, etc. These games, in general, are not about pain, but the achievement of a certain emotional state of both partners.
You could use:
Bastinado - beating the subordinate partner's feet with a stick, cane or whip in order to punish him/her for moving the legs. This effect is usually combined with a bondage (fixation).
Trampling - stomping on a lying partner, both barefoot and in shoes.
Flagellation - flogging with flexible tools - a lash, whip, etc.
Spanking - slapping on the buttocks. Tools - a belt, palm.
Ballbusting - painful squeezing of the male genitals (mainly the scrotum), produced by hands.
Cuntbusting - slapping on the outer parts of the female genitals.
The ways to restrict mobility (and this is one of the subconscious human fears!) include:
Bondage is the name for limiting a person's mobility with a wide range of options: tying, chaining or handcuffing, using special fixing structures, etc.
Hanging while bounded (but without danger of suffocation or dislocation of the limbs!).
Mummification is the wrapping of a person with a cloth or bandages like a game of 'mummy'. To complete the sensations, the dominant can insert earplugs into the 'victim's' ears and a gag into their mouth.
Sensory deprivation - with the help of a mask, gag, earplug and other devices a person loses one of the sensations.
However, all these actions can be not really scary if both you and your partner laugh loudly at your attempts to be rolled up in a bandage or looking at your husband hanging from the ceiling! BDSM requires remarkable acting skills from both partners (especially from the dominant), associated with faith in their own performance!
For this reason, BDSM clubs have begun to emerge, where unfamiliar people participate in games — fear is so real!
Another category of impacts is aimed at a feeling of disgust, as well as the violation of sustainable social taboos. For example, 'golden rain', when one of the partners makes urination on the other.
You can also look through complex effects. It is worthy of note that the degree of pain can vary greatly in each case. For example:
Games with wax. Wax from a burning candle can drip on the skin. Moreover, the partners could apply it after some cooling.
Games with blood. These actions with sharp objects (knife, needle) aim not to cause maximum pain, but to bring the appearance of blood. It is the fear of the appearance of someone else's or one's own blood that is peculiar to many people.
Games with a knife. As a rule, this also influences a person's fear of a kind of a sharp blade. Cuts, even with the observance of all aseptic rules, are allowed very rarely.
Games with fire. Again, the goal is not to cause burns. It is a psychological struggle against the fear of an open flame! It is very traumatic, therefore, it requires good skill and experience in dealing with open fire from the dominant partner, who has a torch, a lighter, etc.
Is it worth trying?
Of course, if there is no clear desire to experience pain, but just a wish to try something new, then you should not endure the pain. You can simply create the appropriate atmosphere with adult toys and accessories.
Every game has the goal of playing some plot for fun, in order to feel more confident. And BDSM is a legal opportunity to get these emotions and feelings that are considered to be forbidden. For example, an expression of aggression and humiliation towards the one you love.
Besides, this is great to experience trust in each other! Feel each other in a new way, learn new facets of each other's sensitivity!
The game requires an incredible trust from the subordinate when he/she completely surrenders themselves to the dominant one!
I am not saying that everybody should try BDSM. It may be a serious psychological trauma for someone, so you need to be very careful to yourself and your partner.
But if both of you say "yes" we wish you successful experiments. Take care of yourself!